Sunday, December 22, 2013

The ‘Wrong’ Way to Answer ‘How Are You?’

The ‘Wrong’ Way to Answer ‘How Are You?’

- however area unit you?
– Good. You?
– Pretty sensible.
– That’s sensible.

This was Associate in Nursing actual exchange between 2 students sitting at my table within the feeding hall. once I detected it, I virtually burst out riant and quipped, ”Well, that was a important spoken communication.” perhaps i used to be being alittle insensitive however, though I even have lived within the U.S. for over 2 years and recognize this can be a standard spoken communication, it still strikes Maine as odd.

One of the foremost difficult aspects of being a world student is that you just not solely need to master a distant language, however additionally to acknowledge the that means that hides behind the words.

Almost a day i'm asked, “How area unit you?” or “How area unit you doing?” I’m expected to reply, “Good” or “Fine,” and raise the opposite person however they're, to that they're going to additionally respond, “Good.”

To this day, this type of salutation strikes Maine as Associate in Nursing abuse of an issue with which individuals show care and concern to 1 another in my culture. once someone asks, “How area unit you?” in Hungary, I assume that person is actually fascinated by my well-being and desires to concentrate to what I even have to share.

In the U.S., this expression means that, “Hi,” and doesn't imply that the person is that the least bit fascinated by my personal life.

Some examples:


After realizing what these nice words of appreciation, care, and kindness mean within the U.S., one will feel alittle betrayed and bitter of their colloquial partners, UN agency suddenly appear superficial and dissimulating. however the expression is just a cultural greeting; one shouldn't misinterpret it as Associate in Nursing initiation of profound spoken communication.

In general, folks from the U.S. don't prefer to categorical their emotions to strangers or acquaintances. they like to place on a permanent smile and mask their different feelings.  The U.S. culture relies on individualism – the thought that one ought to solely deem one’s self and family – and this usually leads them to avoid obtaining too near others, together with by exploitation important expressions in ways in which may appear superficial to foreigners.

This is why another word that ought to have a deep that means is employed quite nonchalantly within the U.S. – “friend.”

While you may expect that this label implies a detailed relationship, folks within the U.S. decision nearly everybody they recognize a “friend.”

This contributes to the notable yankee friendliness and informality, as a result of occupation everybody a lover offers the impression that everybody may be a friend. however it additionally makes it onerous for folks, particularly folks from another culture, to decipher UN agency may be a true friend from all people who area unit assigned  this description.

People within the U.S. area unit definitely capable of getting real interest in another person’s well-being and of forming real relationships. it's necessary to comprehend, however, that they usually choose to keep Associate in Nursing emotional distance from others, together with their friends.

The verbal subtleness of words like “friend” and phrases like “how area unit you?” are often tough to grasp, however one in every of the challenges and therefore the beauties of living abroad is clasp the peculiarities of the host country. To Maine this implies learning the way to speak not solely the language however additionally the culture.